In His Own Words
About him
… it is the triumph of quantity over precision. This appears to be even more of the case if you are female. This leads to something called ‘the paradox of choice’ or ‘choice overload’. Perceived surplus of potential mates leads to lack of respect for responses, you take responses for granted, go on short term dates (because there is always someone better) and then decide it’s all a waste of time and online dating is not for you. Sound familiar?
According to Wikipedia, men are more inclined to swipe or match impulsively and women are far more selective. Men will message 7% of their matches and women 21%. Women will initially message with an average of 122 characters and men just 12.
If men send a ‘positively worded’ message [whatever that means], they are more likely to get a poorer response. In fact the response from women after a man had initiated contact was about 21%. For men after a woman had sent them a message, they would respond something like 80% of the time. Carefully constructed and crafted long messages make no difference to response rates.
Most members use dating to seek aspirational or their perfect partners rather than realistic goals, for instance most women will specify that men must be over 6’ tall and many men will seek matches who are far more attractive then they are. 80% of women will pursue just 20% of the eligible males who will be deemed to have high status.
Why does all this matter? I think it shows that people doing online dating are still following mating strategies that they follow in real life - just in a bigger pool. And the results will be the same as in real life. In fact with a bigger pool, the results will be magnified. I think that’s quite interesting don’t you?
So my strategy for finding a partner, is to appeal to one of the 20% women mentioned above, see if they find the same things interesting, have the attention span to read a few technical paragraphs, are attracted by the unconventional and can think for themselves. Well done you, I think we’ll get on fine🙂
About his ideal match
This is the hard bit isn’t it? I don’t think that many people of either sex, come onto internet dating as their first choice. I think that, like myself, most people are here because of a fork in the road of life.
So, I guess the most attractive quality I seek in a partner is a happy, smiley disposition. Kindness and consideration and a sense of humour are important too.
I am fairly fit and go down to the gym quite often, but don't worry if you have feminine curves, in fact that's rather nice.
I work in the medical field.
I come over as being very kind and considerate, but I'm not a pussy. Some women see courtesy and consideration as a weakness. If you feel that way, good luck, but I'm not the person for you.
I'm a useful bloke to have around in an emergency whether it's a medical, legal or building/car or emotional related.
I'm very interested in current affairs. My politics would be described as Reform level. I haven't had the covid vax. I am deeply sceptical of its efficacy and have seen first hand its potential for harm.
I enjoy scuba diving, fishing, kayaking and just being outdoors. But I also like simple pleasures like watching a film. I love dogs, especially golden retrievers. I have travelled extensively in the past but now, not so much.
I am presently living fairly comfortably in a converted van while I decide on what course my new single life should take. This is by choice not financial necessity.
Somebody said I should list my likes and dislikes, so here goes (for starters):
Likes - Shuffle dancing esp to ‘What is love’ by Haddaway, watching air walking, (both on my to do list), beautiful, handmade things made out of wood or metal, books, nature, 80s /90s music, octopuses, watching YouTube. visiting craft centres, old tools, collecting Ladybird books, history, reading, socialising, anything off-grid related, giving massages.
Dislikes - aggression, bad manners, people with an over-obsession with money, computers (I am aware of the irony), people who follow the flock.
What His Friends Say
Reachingforthemoon hasn't asked any friends to write a recommendation yet.
About him
Country of origin: |
United Kingdom | |
Location: |
Newton Abbot, Devon, England | |
Gender: |
Male | |
Age: |
64 | |
Star sign: |
Aries | |
Height: |
6' 0" (183cm) | |
Body type: |
Average | |
Looks: |
Average | |
Hair colour: |
Greying | |
Eye colour: |
Brown | |
Relationship Status: |
Divorced | |
Looking for: |
Let's see what happens | |
Have children: |
Yes, not living with me | |
Want children: |
No | |
Daily diet: |
Eat most things | |
Smoking: |
Never | |
Drinking: |
Occasionally | |
Education: |
University | |
Occupation: |
Medical / Dental / Veterinary | |
Income: |
Enough | |
Ethnicity: |
White/Caucasian | |
Home language: |
English | |
Other languages: |
Ask me later | |
Religion: |
Christian / Protestant |
About his ideal match
Country of origin: |
Anywhere in the World | ||
Location: |
Within 20 miles of postcode district EX2 (Exeter) | ||
Gender: |
Female | ||
Age range: |
56 - 65 | ||
Star sign: |
Any | ||
Height: |
Any | ||
Body type: |
Slim; Average; Athletic; Curvaceous | ||
Looks: |
Any | ||
Hair colour: |
Any | ||
Eye colour: |
Any | ||
Has a photo: |
Decidedly important | ||
Relationship Status: |
Single; Separated; Divorced; Widowed | ||
Have children: |
No; Yes, not living with me; Yes, living with me sometimes | ||
Want children: |
No | ||
Daily diet: |
Eat most things; Eat healthily; Kosher | ||
Smoking: |
Never | ||
Drinking: |
Never; Occasionally; Several times a week | ||
Education: |
Any | ||
Occupation: |
Any | ||
Income: |
Solvent; Enough; Comfortable | ||
Ethnicity: |
Black/African descent; Indian; White/Caucasian; Mixed; Black/Caribbean descent | ||
Home language: |
English | ||
Other languages: |
Any | ||
Religion: |
Any |
- Not important at all
- Slightly important
- Moderately important
- Decidedly important
- Non-negotiable
More about him
Sense of humour: |
Light-hearted |
Intelligence: |
Intelligent |
Ruled by: |
The head |
Party behaviour: |
An average mingler |
Personality traits: |
Adventurous; Daring; Easygoing; Faithful; Generous; Happy; Independent; Intelligent; Loving; Loyal; Outspoken; Philosophical; Quiet; Realistic; Sensible; Stable; Thoughtful; Trustworthy |
Valued qualities: |
Chemistry; Compassion; Contentment; Faithfulness; Forgiveness; Friendliness; Honesty; Humility; Humour; Kindness; Moderation; Patience |
Fashion sense: |
Outdoorsy (I'm usually dressed for the bush) |
Favourite clothing: |
Shorts & a T-shirt |
Hair style: |
Disappearing |
Eyesight: |
I wear glasses |
Facial hair: |
I have a goatee |
Body hair: |
Smooth |
Body art: |
I don't have any |
Date activities: |
A movie; Dinner at a restaurant; Meeting for coffee; Meeting for drinks; Going for a walk; Visiting a gallery; Going to a museum |
Music preferences: |
Classical; Country & Western; Dance / Disco |
Reading: |
I read books regularly; I read newspapers regularly |
Books: |
History; Non-fiction; Science / Technology |
TV habits: |
I don't have a television |
Movie frequency: |
Occasionally or irregularly |
Movie preferences: |
Action; Comedy; Documentary; Drama; Sci-Fi |
Interests: |
Auto repair; Business news; Internet; Politics; Reading; Woodwork |
Sport involvement: |
An active participant |
Sports: |
Archery; Camping; Canoeing; Chess; Fishing; Hiking; Pool; Running; Scuba diving; Snorkeling |
Cooking: |
I cook rather than starve |
Food: |
Doesn't matter |
Go Out to Eat: |
I eat out a few times a month |
Dietary Restrictions: |
I have none |
Pace of Life: |
Organised |
Time at work: |
I work a standard 40 hour week |
Pastimes of choice: |
Pursuing a hobby |
Time online: |
I'm on for an hour or two a day |
Family size: |
I've got a brother |
Family contact: |
I rarely see them |
Relationship Type: |
I'm just plain single |
Willing to Relocate: |
I'm flexible |
Animals: |
I like animals |
Pets (Like): |
Bird(s); Dog(s); Fish; Rodent(s); Other; Horse(s) |
Pets (Dislike): |
Cat(s) |
Turn-ons: |
Dancing; Erotica; Flirting; Intelligence; Long hair; Skinny dipping; Thrill seeking |
Turn-offs: |
Assertiveness; Body piercing(s); Sarcasm; Tattoo(s) |
Work aspirations: |
I already have my ideal job |
Dream home: |
Eco home in the countryside |
Religious attendance: |
Rarely |
Politics: |
Right of centre |
Retirement plans: |
Finally writing that novel |
Feelings about using Rest Less Dating: |
Curious |
Honesty: |
Extremely |